Spider Quips: Creativity Battle

[mob]

Create your own spider quip and the poster below you will review it. I'll start

(Spider-Man running along side of a getaway van)

Driver: "WHAT THE-"
Spider-Man: "You know they call him The Streak? THE FASTEST THING ON TWO FEET!"

[Caveboy0]

ooo creative thread.

uhhhhh

*group of thugs together*

*spider man shows up*

thug: ITS SPIDERMAN!

spider-man: yeah I know that and I think you're friends know that too. don't you just hate it when people point out the obvious?

[mob]

Haha classic Spidey

Mysterio: "I AM MYSTERIO, MASTER OF ILLUSION! WHO ARE YOU, MORTAL?"
Spider-Man: "I AM OZ, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL! WHO ARE- oh yeah, the masked luchador Rey Mysterio."

[BackinBlack]

Kraven: Your stuffed carcas will be a shining addition to my trophy room!
Spider-Man: Will you at least give me a flattering pose? One that says "SPIDER-MAN!"

Villain: You've ruined everything!
Spider-Man: Hey, it's in my job description.

[mob]

(Remember to review posters quips before adding your own)

Hahahaha very nice

Kraven: "You see this spear? In seconds, it will impale you."
Spider-Man: "You see this fist? In seconds, it's going to connect with your face."

Spider-Man: (to Kraven) "Lovin the lion pelt by the way. I think I'll call you Kraven the FABULOUUUUUS!"

[Caveboy0]

lol that last one was great

(group of villains setting up a plan with them all agreeing)

*spider man walks up between them*

Spider-Man: "yeah lets go squish the spider!"

*thugs stair blankly*

Spider-Man: I guess i was never suited for the thug life

--------------
Spider-Man: I feel like my quips are losing their edge. Perhaps I can take some inspiration from other heroes. SPIDER MAN SMASH! ehhh Maybe if I say this several times it'll start to sound better.

*several punches later*

villain: can you just shut up!

Spider-Man: The annoyance lets me know its working.

[mob]

Lmao I love both of those

Thug: "Who are you supposed to be?"

(Spider-Man stands there, blankly. Then he slowly points at his chest logo)

Thug: "What about it?"

(Spider-Man facepalms)

Spider-Man: "ME....SPIDER-MAN...YOU....DUMB DUMB"

-----------
Spider-Man: "I never steal lines from people, I'm a comedy genius"

Captain America: "I'm waiting for the truth"

Spider-Man: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

(Cap stares at him)

Spider-Man: "I'm also a hypocrite"

[mob]

Good ones lol

(At the end of Shattered Dimensions)

Amazing: "Well, guess this is goodbye"

Others: "Yeah, guess so..."

(All look around, screening their heads or looking away)

Ultimate: (in a soft voice) "....Here we stand....worlds apart, hearts broken in 2, 2, 2...dun dun dun duuun..."

(Long pause)

2099: "....Sleepless nights...losin ground on reach about you, you, you..."

(Ultimate looks over at 2099 and looks excited. They both look at Amazing, who's playing invisible drums)

Amazing: "FEELIN THAT IT'S GOOOHOHOHOOOOONNA CHANGE YO MIND-"

(The 3 line up together)

Spider-Trio: "-IF WE CANT GO OOOOOOHOHOHOHOOONE TO SURVIVE THE TIME, EVERY DAAAAAY-"

(Noir breaks in at the chorus)

All: "SOME DAY, LOVE WILL FIND YOU. BREAK THOSE CHAINS THAT BIND YOU. ONE NIGHT WILL REMIND YOU HOW WE TOUCHED AND WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS"

(All point to Mysterio)

All: "IF HE, EVER HURTS YOU. TRUE LOVE WON'T DESERT YOU! YOU KNOW, I STILL LOVE YOU-"

(Ultimate guitar slides)

Ultimate: "THOUGH WE TOUCHED AND WENT OUR SEPARATE WAAAYS!"

[BackinBlack]

Jul 25, 2011 20:56:17 GMT -5 mob said:

Good ones lol

(At the end of Shattered Dimensions)

Amazing: "Well, guess this is goodbye"

Others: "Yeah, guess so..."

(All look around, screening their heads or looking away)

Ultimate: (in a soft voice) "....Here we stand....worlds apart, hearts broken in 2, 2, 2...dun dun dun duuun..."

(Long pause)

2099: "....Sleepless nights...losin ground on reach about you, you, you..."

(Ultimate looks over at 2099 and looks excited. They both look at Amazing, who's playing invisible drums)

Amazing: "FEELIN THAT IT'S GOOOHOHOHOOOOONNA CHANGE YO MIND-"

(The 3 line up together)

Spider-Trio: "-IF WE CANT GO OOOOOOHOHOHOHOOONE TO SURVIVE THE TIME, EVERY DAAAAAY-"

(Noir breaks in at the chorus)

All: "SOME DAY, LOVE WILL FIND YOU. BREAK THOSE CHAINS THAT BIND YOU. ONE NIGHT WILL REMIND YOU HOW WE TOUCHED AND WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS"

(All point to Mysterio)

All: "IF HE, EVER HURTS YOU. TRUE LOVE WON'T DESERT YOU! YOU KNOW, I STILL LOVE YOU-"

(Ultimate guitar slides)

Ultimate: "THOUGH WE TOUCHED AND WENT OUR SEPARATE WAAAYS!"

Love it!

[mob]

Lmao thanks, I was listening to Journey when I was typing that

[mob]

Police Officer: "No one is stupid enough to take on Galactus alone"

(Spider-Man emerges from an alley)

Spider-Man: "GUESS AGAIN SARGEANT SMARTY PANTS!"

--------

Venom: "WE ARE ONE NOW! WE ARE VENOM!"

Spider-Man: "I just drank a Monster, leave me alone ominous energy drink."

--------

(slapping Ben Reilly)

Spider-Man: "WHY YA HITTIN YOURSELF, HUH, WHY YA HITTIN YOURSELF?"

--------

Spider-Man: "Oh god, Hydro-Man? I haven't seen this much water since that emotional scene in SEAbiscuit. (sniff) Toby Maguire gets me every time. (hides face in hands) Not gonna cry, not gonna cry, (pre-cry breaths)"

Hydro-Man: "Do you EVER shut up?"

Spider-Man: (jerks head towards Hydro-Man, louder breathes) "YOU HURT MY FEEEEEELINGS!"

(Spider-Man pulls out sponge, voice back to normal)

Spider-Man: "TIME TO STOP THE WATERWORKS! Now just hold still and soak it ALLLLLLLLLLLLL in"

[Voltage]

I'm reading these all in the voice of Josh Keaton and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Nice quips, dudes, but prepare your collective anuses for this one.

*Peter at home watching the news*
TV: This just in, we have word that the villain known as Doctor Octopus is robbing a bank!
Peter: Looks like a pretty bad case...
*puts on mask*
Spidey: of armed robbery.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH


I am very aware that this joke is severely overused but so is your face so shutup.

[mob]

Lol I'm a fan of those Horatio jokes

Reporter: "Norman Osborn was caught stealing money from the Oscorp vault"

Peter: "Well I guess Osborn-"

(puts mask on)

Spider-Man: "-isn't much of a Green Goblin. YEA-"

(Deadpool flys through apartment window and kicks Spider-Man unconscious)

Deadpool: "NO. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

(leans down towards Spidey and whispers)

Deadpool: "noooo"

(Deadpool reaches window, wags his finger at Spidey)

Deadpool: "NO"

[Caveboy0]

i was just about to mention we are getting into deadpool territory with these jokes.

Rhino: I'M GONNA RAM YOU SPIDER-MAN

Spider-Man: Wo wo lets get to know each other first.

[mob]

Pffft hahaha love it!

(Lizard climbs into his sons room)

Lizard: "This is the heir to the Lizard kingdom. He must be brought to the swamp..."

Spider-Man: (hanging upside down outside) "He's climbing in yo windows, snatchin yo people up. Tryin to steal them so you better hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo kids, hide yo wife, dont mind the husband cause he's the Lizard everybodys after"

Lizard: "Leave us, insect. This doesnt concern you."

Spider-Man: "It does for the sake of the family portrait and the high school yearbook. I wouldn't be proud knowing my son Godzilla was going to college in Namors garbage disposal."

(Lizard smashes Spider-Man with his tail, causing him to fall to the road. Lizard escapes with his son into the night. Spider-Man stands up)

Spider-Man: "You don't have to come and confess, I'm lookin for you, I'm gon find you, I'm gon find you. So run and tell that home snake. Run back to Linkin Park and think of WHAAAAT YOUVE DOOOONE!"

(Light turns on in another apartment)

Person: "ENOUGH, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, IM TRYIN TO SLEEP!"

Spider-Man: "Alright, good night, sleep tight, hope the man eating lizard spawns don't bite."